She took an unkind likeness to this wanderer once
Unstable, volatile, unlike any other
The golden son shining bright; the perfect brother.

So sure of his uncertainties
Yet treading on ice cold flames
She asked him for a real conversation once
He said he’d rather play mind games

He was alone in a crowd,
He was alone on his own,
He was alone.

Looking for something, someone, somewhere to call his own.

Adamant to make you not understand
His life, his dreams, his stories
And the carefully marked out maps in his hands
Maps leading right back to where he once stood
With landmines at every next step to blow you away
And quicksand to sink you in.


What Ifs

You ask me what worries me
And I say a casual “its nothing”
But waiting inside is a volcano
On the verge of erupting

Of doubts and fears, of changes unknown,
The fear of how apart we might have grown

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
But what if this distance also made us grow more distant?

What if when the world is spinning too fast
You no longer notice my resistance?

What if when you see me now
You see less of the girl you loved and more of an acquaintance

What if your arms go for my neck
And I go for your waist,
And we’re both end up caught up in some awkward embrace?

What if I can no longer navigate the maps traced in the lines of your palm,
What if you can no longer weather my raging storm beneath the calm?

What if the stories in my eyes are now in a foreign language you don’t understand,
What if my fingers no longer fit perfectly in the space between your hands

What if my silent tears no longer tell you the words I couldn’t say
What if my steady beating heart isn’t enough to keep your demons away?

What if you can no longer feel my entire existence every time our lips touch,
What if this time you say too little and I hear far too much?

The world and you.

I wanted to write something that meant something

Not just to me

Something meaningful

A feeling we have all felt

One that no one had found words for yet

I wanted to write poetry in motion

About ungodly devotion

A lyrical dance

A one last chance

The smile of a baby

A completely sure “maybe”

Watching the race of the raindrops

Timeless moments in which time stops

The integrity of a soldier

The fear of getting older

An “I’m fine” that means I’m not

A ‘no’ that means ‘yes’

The secret you spilled

And the one you’ll never confess

Solace in a stranger

Relationships that screamed danger

The one that got away

The one that never will

The luxury you could finally afford

The ever-pending bill

Childlike curiosity

Adult practicality

The love of a mother

Protection of a brother

Smoldering eyes that pierce, but don’t shine

The fading boundaries of “yours” and “mine”

The glow of the flame

Of a fire inside

The unsettling calm

Of a rising tide

Words that cut through the surface of skin

I wanted to write them all,

I wanted to write everything.

But in the end,

I wasn’t writing about the world

The wind, the stars or the seas

I wasn’t writing about a feeling they all knew

I was writing about the only one I know,

I was writing about you.

The Cheat Sheet.

Well for starters… I’d like some chicken tikka. Main course later.

Killed yourself a little over that now didn’t you? Now really, for starters I pray to god you have a better sense of humour than me! Ah, the simple pleasures of laughter. I guess I should just lay it out on the table, I’m easy to please. My heart is won over by not one, but many. This isn’t because my expectations of people are low, but because I tend to find the best in most. I look for it. That said, failing me on any of the following accounts doesn’t end well for you. I’m not the kind of girl you’d want to disappoint. So with this disclaimer, here’s a guide to my heart. Trust me, they’re all tried and tested :

1. Be good. To yourself, to me, and to the world, even when it’s unfair, even when it’s bad, be the difference. Be good to your country, be good to those in need, be good to those who don’t need it.

2. I’d love me some Gentlemen/Real Women (real women sure aren’t gentle, they’re women of substance) don’t paint a picture of sophisticated classy men drinking scotch and women drinking wine, laughing softly. No. I speak of the good manners, giving up your seat for someone older, weaker than you, speaking politely, opening doors for others, letting people finish what they’re saying, not cutting in to get your point across. Say please when you ask for something, and my heart will come free with it!

3. Remember that the best things in life are indeed free. Be driven, be ambitious, be savage and competitive but don’t ever lose sight of your priorities. Love. Family. Morals. Patriotism. Keep them safe no matter where you go, I’ll not just love, but respect you for it.

4. Get comfortable, but never complacent. There is nothing more disappointing than losing your heart and losing a bit of yourself with it. I love a person who can trust me, open up and show me who they really are, all 50 shades. But don’t ever take me for granted. Don’t take anything for granted. It is far too fleeting, and far too precious. I may be easy to win over, but you need to win the war, not just the first battle.

5. Live in contractions, and I’m yours. Be childish with your enthusiasm and curiosities, but be a mature man I can count on. Make me reckless and carefree while teaching me to be a better, more responsible person. Give me all things raw, and show me poetry in motion. Care for me and let me fend for myself. Be just enough and be too much. Be practical and be a dreamer.

Find me clarity and leave me baffled all at once.